“God, I’m scared.”

I do not take change lightly. I never did, not even as a little girl like when my family had to relocate on three separate occasions, and I cried myself to sleep every. single. night for about a month after each move. I wish I were kidding; I was just never good at readjusting to new places, new people nor new surroundings.

That was many years ago, but that feeling didn’t go away. I have recently married my best friend and marriage alone is a huge adjustment which I’ll cover in another post, but I mean two days before my wedding I sat with my mom at a pizza place and started sobbing uncontrollably. The owner of the place just stared at me because all he saw was a “grown” woman sitting at one of his tables with a piece of pizza barely in her mouth and tears running down her face at about 100 miles per second (slightly exaggerated, but you get the picture). He looked at me with sad eyes because in that instance that’s all I seemed… a sad person. The thought of my whole world changing -even in the best way- still managed to drown me in feelings of fear, uncertainty and anxiety. No matter how happy I actually was to be marrying the man God made for me, I still battled the same issue as all those years ago…

CHANGE WAS NOT MY FRIEND.

WHY? Because I let fear control me. I disliked change so much because I feared it. I feared judgement and failure. I feared loneliness.

And when I thought that fear was consuming me and my joy, The Lord made His presence known. I feared change because I lacked confidence, I had 0% of it in me. I didn’t only lack self-confidence, but I didn’t confide in Him the way I said I did. The scripture reminds us again and again to confide in Christ and fear none;

Jeremiah 17:7 says “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.”

Psalms 56:3 says “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”

Joshua 1:9 says “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

How beautiful is it that we have the answer right there: we have to CONFIDE in who He is… Yes, I know it is easier said than done, but try please try to rest all your fear and troubles unto Him and He will take care of you.

Change is never-ending, it is inevitable, and it is beautiful. I can say that now without feeling scared. I appreciate change and I go after it with a positive mindset.

I hope you can too.

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